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I had the T-shirt many moons ago.. Along with the smoke tabs one.viz not were i got it from how do you know
Pinball info
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have a laugh (NSFW)
- Thread starter rockhouse
- Start date
Viz and the Sport were awesome, the PC brigade ****ed on all that fun.
A man was sitting quietly reading his newspaper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
‘What was that for?’ he asked.
‘That was for the piece of paper in your jeans pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,’ she replied.
‘Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on, I bought you those flowers with the winnings, ‘ he explained.
‘Oh darling, I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I should have known there was a good explanation.’
Three days later he was watching TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with a frying pan, which knocked him out cold.
When he came to, he asked, ‘What was that for?’
‘Your horse just phoned’
‘What was that for?’ he asked.
‘That was for the piece of paper in your jeans pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,’ she replied.
‘Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on, I bought you those flowers with the winnings, ‘ he explained.
‘Oh darling, I’m sorry,’ she said. ‘I should have known there was a good explanation.’
Three days later he was watching TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with a frying pan, which knocked him out cold.
When he came to, he asked, ‘What was that for?’
‘Your horse just phoned’
Did you hear about the woman with five legs?
Her knickers fit her like a glove !
Her knickers fit her like a glove !
Funnier if you listen to the music.
Why a break in your sentence is always important:
A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert when he saw something far off in the distance.
Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British soldier selling regimental ties.
The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"
The soldier replied, "There is no water, the well is dry. Would you like to buy a tie instead? They are only £5."
The Taliban shouted, "You idiot infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"
"OK," said the soldier, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that, and that I am a much better human being than you. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find our Sergeant's Mess. It has all the ice cold water you need. Inshallah! "
Cursing him, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, collapsed with dehydration and rasped "They won't let me in without a tie !
Hoping to find water, he hurried toward the oasis only to find a British soldier selling regimental ties.
The Taliban asked, "Do you have water?"
The soldier replied, "There is no water, the well is dry. Would you like to buy a tie instead? They are only £5."
The Taliban shouted, "You idiot infidel! I do not need an over-priced tie. I need water! I should kill you, but I must find water first!"
"OK," said the soldier, "It does not matter that you do not want to buy a tie and that you hate me. I will show you that I am bigger than that, and that I am a much better human being than you. If you continue over that hill to the east for about two miles, you will find our Sergeant's Mess. It has all the ice cold water you need. Inshallah! "
Cursing him, the Taliban staggered away over the hill.
Several hours later he staggered back, collapsed with dehydration and rasped "They won't let me in without a tie !
A particularly relevant one, what's wrong in ALL these stock images?
Just wait for the screams....
Just wait for the screams....
Hahahaha I got it
Ah the guy in the middle is the best one, he doesn't know what day it is, let alone why he can smell burning
Yeah, he will probably just solder on.
...I'll let myself out.
Normally solder on the back of the board too!
Ever had that terrible urge to make a really bad pun?
A Canadian salesman checked into a futuristic hotel in Tokyo, Japan.
Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl.
Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,'Manicures, $20.00'.
'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 cents.
The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening.
When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out.
Fifteen seconds later it shut off.
With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit...which now had a button sewn neatly on the end.
Realizing he needed a haircut before the next day's meeting, he called down to the desk clerk to ask if there was a barber on the premises.
'I'm afraid not, sir,' the clerk told him apologetically, 'but down the hall from your room is a vending machine that should serve your purposes.'
Skeptical but intrigued, the salesman located the machine, inserted $15.00, and stuck his head into the opening, at which time the machine started to buzz and whirl.
Fifteen seconds later the salesman pulled out his head and surveyed his reflection, which reflected the best haircut of his life.
Two feet away was another machine with a sign that read,'Manicures, $20.00'.
'Why not?' thought the salesman. He paid the money, inserted his hands into the slot, and the machine started to buzz and whirl. Fifteen seconds later he pulled out his hands and they were perfectly manicured.
The next machine had a sign that read, 'This Machine Provides a Service Men Need When Away from Their Wives, 50 cents.
The salesman looked both ways, put fifty cents in the machine, unzipped his fly, and with some anticipation, stuck his manhood into the opening.
When the machine started buzzing, the guy let out a shriek of agony and almost passed out.
Fifteen seconds later it shut off.
With trembling hands, the salesman was able to withdraw his tender unit...which now had a button sewn neatly on the end.
Okay that one made me laugh pretty hard, nice one!
Man walks into a bar and says do you have a pinball machine here? Barman says...
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Insert punchline - I can't think of one that is in any way funny
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk
Not since Jodie went lesbian...
A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Guido, has cheated him out of $10,000,000.00. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Guido would hear nothing so he would not have to testify in court.
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, “Where's the money?”
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says up yours, you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
Don't you just love lawyers?
When the Godfather goes to confront Guido about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
The Godfather tells the lawyer, "Ask him where the money is!"
The lawyer, using sign language, asks Guido, “Where's the money?”
Guido signs back, "I don't know what you are talking about."
The lawyer tells the Godfather, "He says he doesn't know what you're talking about."
The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Guido's head and says, "Ask him again or I'll kill him!"
The lawyer signs to Guido, "He'll kill you if you don't tell him."
Guido trembles and signs, "OK! You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed at my cousin Bruno's house."
The Godfather asks the lawyer, "What did he say?"
The lawyer replies, "He says up yours, you don't have the balls to pull the trigger."
Don't you just love lawyers?
Let's all just play it cool
