I don't see that as an idiot question,
As I see it, as Jim says a relay coil has a solid core, and moves a metal plate. What's attached to that plate varies; in an e/m game it could be a slotted frame to move a whole set of contacts, controlling other circuits or switching a solenoid or a magnet (even the early solid-state games with magnets had e/m type relays actually controlling the magnets). Gottlieb e/m games often have a relay for the 00-90/Match feature; the plate operates a toothed ratchet, moving a pair of contacts over each of two small circuit boards (one for the actual selection and the other for the 00-90 lamps). One playfield device using a relay coil is a free-ball or lifting gate.
Or the plate may be locking a mechanism such as a 'play more' ball saver post between the flippers in the down position, and operating the relay allows the post, which was a refinement of the jet bumper mechanism, to spring up. I last saw this on Williams Space Shuttle; later on (post Fire!) it used the 'flatcam' device instead, to save one solenoid drive.
There was also a similar place for relay coils with lifting ramps, the plate has a spur attached, which hooks over a point on the back of the solenoid linkage to prevent it and the ramp flap from simply falling back down after the lift solenoid turns off.
And games with a dropper for a single target, such as T2, Fish Tales and Star Trek Next Gen, use one for the dropper function.
A modern solid-state pcb mounted relay such as a solenoid extender or flipper relay is a sealed example of the switching relay.
Whereas a solenoid has a hollow centre, for a metal plunger to move through when the winding is carrying current.